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it's been such a long time since i blogged
almost a month!
i bet people gave up reading my blog alr haha
my schedule has been so packed and hectic!
but everything's worth it (:

gp common test tmr ):
i'm really really dreading it but ohwell

i'm being angsty again

what used to make me happy don't anymore
but slowly,
it seems as if it's becoming a burden

all i want to do is run
because just for that moment,
everything else seems to fade away
you don't have to think about anything else
just run

running, running
running as fast as we can

i guess i was the one who started it
but i didn't ask for it, did i
i don't know how things turned out this way
i really don't and i'm sorry this happened
and i know that this is being selfish
because i'm not the only one affected
i've been trying so hard
i've been forcing myself to

i wish i didn't care so much
everything would seem so much simpler and happier, wont it?

when some things are lost,
they can never be gained back
no matter how hard you try

what do you do when everything starts falling apart slowly
piece by piece
and nothing seems right anymore
and what you've been clinging onto to stay afloat
somehow seems to be drifting further and further away from you

I want to swim away but don't know how
Sometimes it feels just like I'm falling in the ocean

stop having such high expectations of me
because it'll just lead to great disappointment
i'm starting to feel scared just thinking about it
i've never felt so lost before
i've never struggled for so long and so hard before

the first time you fall,
you spring back fast, believing that you just tripped
but when it happens so often
it's so hard to pick yourself up again and again
and slowly, you feel so tired,
you just don't do anything

because you've lost your faith
your faith in yourself

you start to doubt yourself
and you don't believe you can do it
even though so many people tell you that you can
but it's so stressful living up to other's expectations of me
and my own

maybe i've not been trying hard enough
but how do you know
how do you judge
i want to stop finding excuses for myself

i'm sorry i've let so many people down
but just don't give up hope on me yet
that's all i ask of you

i need so much time to settle so many issues
just give me more time,will you

If I could escape
and recreate a place that's my own world